Spamming Eviscerate since 2004

On Tanking Misadventures and OMG Not Playing a Rogue for Once

So it’s an offnight and someone wants to run an ICC10

Naturally, there are nowhere near enough tanks to run all the offnight raids so what happens?

The GM and an Officer that have never tanked ICC go on their alt DK (me) and Pally (Lyrande)

I die….on the first pull, as I’m pro tanking the floor I think to myself, Evee…wtf were you thinking by agreeing to do this? The raids makes it through without me (obviously) and here comes the second pull, goes relatively well, no one died(yay). Then the third pull, with the fourth. Lyrande dies, I proceed to FLAIL everywhere going OMG OMG OMG OMG it’s smacking the pally healer OMG OMG OMG get it off the priest OMG OMG OMG I see my health going down and no incoming heals COOLDOWN COOLDOWN TRINKET TRINKET COOLDOWN. I have no idea how it worked out, but I somehow manage to survive long enough for a healer to show up (or get unwrapped)

Thankfully the rest of the trash wast uneventful, we reach Marrowgar, and I proceed to flail as I try to tank and stay next to my wonderful GM’s indecisive directioning (another feat in of itself), how we survived marrowgar, I will never know.

On to Deathwhipser, besides freaking out everytime a mob get angry and goes hulk the fight was uneventful.

Gunship, having frequently jumped over on my rogue I figure hey, “I’ll jump over” and since there was only one melee dps, I’ll take a cannon while I’m at it. I jump over the first time and….HOLY SHIT SAURFANG HITS REALLY HARD, and I proceed to die because the rogue forgot to put his rocketpack on and I stayed over to long. It’s ok battle rez and keep going. Next jump over…WAIT WAIT OMG DPS WHY DID YOU GO BEFORE I EVEN LEFT MY CANNON?! flail everywhere to jumped over and taunt midair to attempt to save the dps….thankfully working…the rest of the fight….uneventful.

Now saurfang, the fight I’m sure I would fail on. Everythign goes fine, I’m nto even paying attention most of the fight until all the sudden{the follwing text is written as the thoughts of Eviscerate during the fight}…OMG HE’S SO BIG OMG OMG HE’S TAKING 1/2 my HP with one hit OMG OMG….wait…wait….cooldown….(POP) oh look….he’s small again…wait wait…HE’S RED NOW (Ambrosyne dies) (Dishonorable dies: me btw) (Everyone but the holy pally that bubbles dies) (saurfang dies) Did we just kill him AFTER the enrage timer?…..that was interesting………….alrighty then…wait we’re doing the weekly now? ok let’s go

Now for the fun part of the night…

We proceed to pug up to replace people that have left so we can go do Sarth, no big deal. Sarth is like running a 5 man now.

I zone and and ask for blessing of sanctuary from the other tank who proceeds to respond with.

I only buff king. If you want something else, whine to the other pally”

The other pally doesn’t have sanc? W/e

I go get a drink, when I get back, he had pulled and through his massive fail let a someone die becuase he’s a pally and can’t hold AoE aggro (wait wut?)

Pull the first boss, and he taunts it…ok w/e…*turn on blood presence and lol dps*

more tash, less death, next boss

I pull, he taunts, I’m to lazy to switch presence so I just dps in frost, and pull off him, he taunt, 6 seconds later i pull again

Whisper from a healer: Stop taunting off him so I can heal right

I’m not taunting?

Boss dies, more trash, he pulls the next boss and the pat next to it shows up. No biggie, I tank the pat,go through the portal kill that come back out and tank the trash somemore. Boss dies

Sarth is up next after this trash and I’m thinking well obivously I put out more threat than this guy and take less damage than him because i’m better geared

Me in raid chat: Fivestar you get the adds I’ll tank the boss (and now for a screenshot I totally stole from Ambrosyne/Lyrande)

and……..

I kick him, tank the boss on my own, and if i don’t say so myself, handle the adds quite well on top of it. Apparently you’re not as needed as you think you were eh Fivestar?

I’ve said it once,twice, and I will say it again

“Evee don’t do douchebags”

To that wonderful pally who must hate me now, enjoy stacking stam in your 4.6k gs gear. i’m sure all that health is awesome when bosses crit you and your spell power enchanted Falric’s Wrist-Chopper. Obviously trade is the best place to call me and my guild a bunch of whiny kids and idiots.

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8 responses

  1. I think I coughed up a lung laughing, yet another reason why I DON’T have a tank alt.

    Great read Evis, hopefully these events will not be enough to pull you away from your rogue permanently.

    April 1, 2010 at 12:17 am

  2. Oh No, I play the DK MAYBE once a week.
    My rogue has been my main for over 5 years, it’s not changing anytime soon

    April 1, 2010 at 4:12 am

  3. I vote you play a toon sometime that’s not stupidly overpowered. I’m just sayin’.

    April 1, 2010 at 5:39 am

    • i’m not OP, everyone else just needs buffs

      April 1, 2010 at 4:25 pm

  4. tanking is more about not panicking when things are going terribly wrong then anything else, because the last thing the group needs on top of whatever fail is going on is for the boss to move out of position at the wrong time( basically any time).
    in 25’s(and some 10’s) most of your threat will be generated by a competent rogue or hunter because threat scaling broke back in t9, and your health is being managed by a healer, so stay calm and believe in the team and keep the big bad still cause that’s your job.

    helpful hints: marowgar does 3 flames on the tanks if he is the mood to flame tank so just before hand work out a left right left with your OT and your fine. the other boats captain scales his damage when he hits you so mitigation cooldowns suck but avoidance ones rock, don’t get hit and he hits for alot less.

    will be reading moar….

    April 1, 2010 at 6:59 am

  5. nymphes

    I know exactly what you were thinking on Saurfang…. My Ret pally main was asked to tank one week due to lack of tanks online….. the whole time 1. I couldn’t rip aggro off our main tank for the first four pulls no matter what i did *oops righteous fury… right* 2. everything seemed so much bigger and scarier standing in front of it. I’m sure my guildies would have gotten quite a kick out of the shrieking I was doing IF i had been able to tank and talk at the same time >.> I’ll stick to my lolsealofcleave ret dps thanks.

    April 1, 2010 at 1:40 pm

  6. Wow, you were even the RL for a mostly-guild OS and the guy acted like that? Kudos for handling it like a pro.

    April 1, 2010 at 2:32 pm

  7. shadowtycho

    the most important part of tanking is not freaking out.
    you just have to assume that your healer has your back because if they don’t then your dead regardless of what you do, flailing an loosing your cool just makes their job harder.
    and props for ditching that pally, telling a raid lead fuck you is pretty fantastic for a pug, i hope you at least has the sense to report him(swearing is a breach of your TOS and while i wouldn’t report a friend i don’t see why people protect assholes by not reporting)

    April 1, 2010 at 3:35 pm

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